Taking January off social media, an experiential learning in habit and trauma …
If you have seen my first post you will see that at the beginning of January I decided to come off social media to see what difference it made to my life. Part way through I posted that I had more free time, felt less busy and the need to check my phone on a regular basis completely subsided.
At the end of January I didn’t rush to check what I had missed and a week or so went by before I even checked in to see what was happening in the social media world. Its difficult at times for me, as I use social media to promote what I do and advertise any courses I am running, but I found that during January and now February this was a quiet enough time.
I removed (or hid) the apps from my phone and now find I can’t find how to put them back on, this was a gift as I have to go on the App store if I want to go onto any of the platforms. So I don’t find myself idly tapping on the icon, I have to make a conscious decision to go on the app store, search and then download to go on and afterwards it disappears again.
What I did establish above all else is that it is primarily habit that has us checking into our social media. It takes 21 days to build new neural pathways in the brain and replace a habit, I knew the theory of this but experienced it in real time with this experiment. I now go on probably once every week to check in to my accounts and maybe post something I have made or seen, apart from that it does not cross my mind.
How do I feel? So much better, more awareness of time and spending it on the things I want to, rather than allowing the time goblin to steal it away from me. I have had some health issues during lockdown and started to walk every day and spend more time relaxing and looking after myself, exactly what I tell my clients to do! This has all opened up for me some pain from my past that ended 10 years ago, but still leaves a mark.
I am seeing a functional therapist and a psychotherapist to help support me in what feels like a journey back to me, one I decided to start when my body got my attention and in the stillness and space I started to hear. I really don’t think this would have happened if I hadn’t stopped everything that was distracting me, we would all rather avoid those places, right? I am working through trauma that I experienced systematically over a period of years during my marriage. All of my wellness tools have always supported me to be as healthy as I can despite this, but I had clearly not dealt with it as my body started to get my attention. Equally the term ‘dealt’ with is not a true reflection, to be with and surrender to the deep hurts caused is more accurate.
A great book that I am reading is “The body keeps the score” by Bessel Van Der Kolk, again having the gift of more time has allowed me to catch up on my reading and this book is fascinating. I became aware years ago that your body tells you when something is wrong, mindfulness and yoga are great at showing you this. His book links the sensations in your body with your emotions and particularly how trauma can have such a profound effect physically. I am doing some trauma yoga training shortly, it was supposed to be last year and in person, but now on zoom next month, and this book is essential pre-reading. Most of my training, mindfulness, yoga, energy healing have all grown out of my innate instinct to find what would support me in the worst of times. I love everything that I have learn’t and now call on them to help me find the best of times. I also know when to call in the experts to help and support me when I need them. As a wellness coach I also signpost clients to other therapists they need to see in order to move forward with physical or emotional health and wellbeing.
So my vulnerability in this post, that started with a break from social media, is not to come from a place of victimhood but an honest supportive place from my heart to yours. We can all get a little broken and that is what makes our life experiences unique to us. Lockdown has been a challenge and an opportunity to look at the places you don’t want to shine the light on in the darkness. We are never alone, if we reach out for support and allow the vulnerability to guide us to where our hearts feel welcome, it could just change our lives.
From my heart to yours with love xxx